Loving someone and being loved back give you a euphoric vibe. Although we always say that we are strong and independent, we cannot deny that having a romantic relationship with someone enables us to somehow reach the peak of happiness. Movie dates at home, long drive in beautiful places, reading a book together, trying out different cafes in town – all these simple things could be extra special with that special someone. That surreal feeling adds color to our life that is too centered in our career.
However, the height of your happiness could be as much as the depth of your pain once everything is over. For a long time, they will let you see a glimpse of heaven then one day, they will leave you dumbfounded. What is worse is they will give clueless about what went wrong. Sometimes, they will be gone during the time that you are already sure of what you feel and during the time when you love them the most. Life is so cruel, isn’t it?
Today, you are happy in love, then tomorrow, everything is ruined. If you are so devasted but do not know where and how to start, this “moving on” starter pack might help you get yourself together.
1. “Scream and shout and let it all out!”
The first step that you need to do is to accept the fact that you got hurt. Do not be in denial. Suppressing the pain will only worsen your heart break. Admit to yourself that even though you are a strong independent bitch, you are not ‘pain proof.’ Denial will only give you a long-term misery so stop acting as if everything is fine when actually it is not.
Do not settle with unhealthy coping mechanisms because those habits will only jeopardize your future relationships. Rather, release what you feel by writing it down on a piece of paper then burn it. You may also throw stuff around such as pillows and stuff toy or anything that is not fragile. Just make sure that you will not waste things inside your house. Cry your heart out and scream if you want. So what if you got puff eyes for a couple of days or weeks? We badly need internal cleansing.
2. Hang out and go crazy
Other people are not that good enough in dealing with heartbreak alone. If you are one of them, try hanging out with some friends. You could meet them at the bar or videoke booth and sing your heart out by choosing the most heartbreaking songs in the song book. To complete that quest of being a devasted tita in a videoke bar, do not forget the Aegis songs in the queue.
And of course, who would ever skip one of the best phases of moving on? Get drunk, wild and wasted and start the conversation with “Pre, mahal ko pa e.” Keep the bottles coming and let all your ‘hugot’ out. Woaaah, classic!
3. Do not trigger yourself with sad stuff
When you are moving on, it is okay to be miserable at first. Now that you are done with getting drunk, wild, and wasted, it is now time to start redeeming yourself. Avoid torturing yourself with sad movies, sad music, and sad books. Your heartbreak has given you so much anguish so do not stir another storm that will leave you more devastated. The phase of crying all night is over so stay out of bed and get a life that is worth living instead of wasting your time being so unhappy. It is unfair seeing your ex living life to the fullest while you are still stuck from where he/she left you.
4. Find new hobbies or learn new skills
The time will come when you will no longer be crying all night long, but you could still feel that void. It is understandable because the pain won’t go away within a snap even though you are trying so hard to recover. It is a slow process most especially if you loved too much. There will be times that you could feel that there is missing. To fill that void, you could divert your attention to new hobbies and skills. Ride solo in a bike, learn how to cook or bake, make some art, or write poems and stories. Make yourself productive. You are more creative if you are more focused on learning new things because you are trying to replace those traumatic events in your mind with new stuff that could be helpful to you.
5. Travel and meet new people
Give yourself some fresh air and new sight by traveling to other places if the current situation permits. Going back to nature or staying at peaceful resorts could be therapeutic so do not be selfish to yourself. Have some vacation and detoxify after that draining event in your life. Experience something new so that you could have another perspective that could help you recover from your heartbreak. Sometimes, we are too blinded by the pain that we could not see the opportunities that will make ourselves better. Meeting new people could also help because having conversations from strangers somehow gives us a renewed feeling that make us want to have a fresh start once we go back home.
Love can either make you or break you, there is no in-between. Today, you feel so whole and complete but the next day, you are so shattered and longing for something that is missing. There are so many uncertainties. You could get hurt and feel lost for a hundred times. But, despite all the heartbreaks, may we always find a reason to love. It is one of the most fulfilling and wonderful mystery that we could experience while we are living. All we have to do is to find love that is worthy of our effort, energy, and time.
Most of all, do not ever forget to love yourself because this is where you should start in order for you to get the love that you truly deserve. Once you learned how to love yourself, you will never settle for less.